Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Daddy Lives on an Airplane and Other Truisms from the Mouth of a Toddler

Raising a young child can be exhausting, rewarding, and hilarious all in the same moment. One of my favorite things about parenting is witnessing Noah's mind adsorb the world around him. Sometimes I'm astonished at how much he understands and other times I wish I could explain things better. Luckily he has a pretty good vocabulary and he tells me what he thinks. Some of the things he says are downright hilarious, others incredibly insightful. Here are a few things Noah knows to be true:

1. Daddy takes an airplane to work and either lives on the plane or somehow takes the plane to work and resides inside the computer. He used to leave things for Gman on my keyboard, like bits of food or toys.

2. Somehow Santa Claus is friends with the firemen and rides around with them the weeks preceding Christmas, when he isn't posing for pictures at the mall of course. It's rumored that Santa even stays at the firehouse when he's in town.

3. Almost every job requires a special hat.

4. Saying "I'll be right back" is much less emotionally stressful than saying "goodbye."

5. If one is eating chocolate one needs at least enough to fill two hands.

6. "Milkies" live in mommys' breasts and it's made especially for each of their babies. He is concerned about any breast dangling alone in the world, it should be occupied by a suckling infant. If boobs are prominently displayed (like in art) he'll ask me where the lady's baby is. 

7. If we are out of anything, it's not a problem, we can buy some more.

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