Friday afternoon I received an unusual midafternoon call
from Gman. He asked me if I would like to go to Busch Gardens on Saturday. “The
rental car is only $60 and we can go there and back in one day.” He paused as I
tried to digest what he just offered. I quickly went over my agenda, to-do’s,
and expectations for the weekend and more quickly than he could think of the
next line to convince me, I said “Why the heck not, let’s do it.”
We realized two Bud Lights, a funnel cake, a plate of
“authentic” German food, and a half-broken 3D ride in that this was our first
trip to an amusement park together. It clearly isn’t something we’re big into
but we needed a break and had a lot of fun trying something different. I’ll describe
the pros and cons of my experience at the all American theme park but to start,
a little bit about the place.
Busch Gardens is an amusement park owned by Anheuser-Busch.
There are two locations the one we went to in Williamsburg, Virginia which is
Europe themed and one in Tampa, Florida which is Africa themed. (I grew up
going to the Tampa one and feel a strong preference for it so I compared them
all day.) Busch Gardens is a great place for family bonding and a pretty good
deal if you want to drop off your teenagers there for the day.
On to the pros. The best part is all the sh*t food one could
possibly imagine – kettle corn, funnel cakes with ice cream, caramel, and
whipped cream, cotton candy, turkey legs, and lots of beer – it’s like the fair
sans the fried Twinkies. I tried almost everything too despite having some
difficulty trying to squeeze in eating in between roller coasters without
wanting to puke. I survived.
I like that amusement parks offer something for everyone and
allow you to have exhilarating and slow moments throughout the day. We saw lots
of animals including owls, horses, Bald Eagles, wolves, and birds (the one in
Tampa has a safari!). The animals there were mostly rescued from accidents and
very well taken care of. One of the owls we “met” usually lives about 15 years
in the wild but could live up to 40 in captivity! Also he was huge and only
weighed 5 lbs. The same sized Bald Eagle weighed almost 15 lbs. The owl was
also distracted looking for squirrels while the handler talked to us.
There were a variety of rides from sky buckets to roller
coasters and everything in between. When we were little my sister and I loved
the log flume. I thought I also enjoyed roller coasters but the photographic
evidence shows that I was in fact not having fun. My displeasure greatly amused
Gman and he made me go on as many as possible.
The people watching was absolutely outstanding. I’m so glad
I decided to wear with jean shorts that day because they were the choice du
jour. I’ve never seen so many variations on the classic and on so many body
types and ages.
The cons. We were hoping that we beat tourist season but we
didn’t count on the hordes of high school choir groups that descended on the
place like locusts. Eventually their rowdiness grew on me and it was still
less crowded than it could have been, so not too bad, right?
No, that wasn’t the worst of it. Gman and I decided on
German food for lunch and so headed to Oktoberfest as soon as we got to the
park. When we walked into Das Festhaus and I was immediately overwhelmed with a
magical forest themed restaurant, seating 2,000, with mass produced food, and an
all-singing all-dancing Broadway style musical extravaganza. The overly happy
faces sang and danced to charming poppy music in the center of the room.
Welcome to my hell.
I can’t stand musicals nor do I like themed restaurants,
especially magical forest ones at themed countries in theme parks. Restaurants
should be about the food. Period. I tried to leave and Gman begged me to stay
because he was so hungry already. Luckily we just caught the end of the thing
but I noticed people were lining up to meet the cast. What?! We ate in relative
peace as we contemplated the meaning of this interpretation of German culture.
Allow me to quickly explain my annoyance towards
sing-a-longs and these types of productions. I respect and appreciate live
music and dance, don’t get me wrong. I cried my eyes out during the entire
production of Wicked. Some people are truly talented. However, in many cases their produced
happiness reminds me of overly entertaining cheerleaders making bubbly faces at
the camera. Their enthusiasm is forced and I lose faith in everyone buying into
it.
I will say that I can see the need for such a break in the
amusement park. Taking 30 minutes off our feet while sitting in
air-conditioning was welcomed. In fact, I made Gman go to the less-smiley
Celtic dancing production later that afternoon.
The weather was perfect – warm but not hot, slightly breezy,
and sunny. Gman and I truly enjoyed our day together and felt like we did get
away from it all. We had plenty of downtime to stroll through the park, look at
flowers and animals, check people out, eat lots of food we shouldn’t, have a
few thrills and get to know each other a little more.
So tell me, do you like amusement parks? What’s your
favorite part or why don’t you like them?